Re: DSM: Parents

Scott David Gray (
Sun, 27 Jun 1999 17:53:48 -0400

Usually, if a children have parents bugging them to study something which they
aren't interested in, the children (understandably) tell their parents that they
"will do so". Then, some children half-heartedly try to set up classes. Such
children may well be rebuffed by staff members who don't want to waste time
instructing people who are clearly not interested, or the children may not put
in enough effort to actually make appointments, or the children may not put in
the effort which the staff members insist on as a condition for the
instruction. When parents realizes that their children aren't studying the
subject in question, and ask why, the children (again, reasonably) often say
something to the effect of "the staff member doesn't want to do it". So, in
fact, the usual form that the complaint to the school takes is "how come
so-and-so isn't helping these children".

Though we answer more politely, the answer that we give generally amounts to
"since your child seems to have no immediate need or desire to know any
particular thing about that subject, it doesn't surprise me at all that s/he
isn't doing it. Why should s/he?" Mimsy and Hannah (after decades doing
admissions interviews) are geniuses at knowing how to do everything reasonable
to put a parent's mind at ease, and also knowing when the parent is beyond reach
and how to end the conversation quickly. wrote:

> What happens if parents try to make a kid do something they don't want to do
> (eg. math) and call the school to complain about the kid not doing it?

-- Scott David Gray
Phone: 508/650-9639
Fax: 508/651-3782
ICQ: 27291292

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